Tuesday, February 09, 2010

28 Days LOL-ter - Day 9: North Korea's Finest

hillbilly dictator
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I... I don't even know where to go with this. Though the picture itself does kind of speak volumes on its own, doesn't it?

But, sweet Jesus, I'm not getting that image out of my head anytime soon.

Coming tomorrow: the latest trend for pet owners. It's not what you think!

Sadly, it never is.

Monday, February 08, 2010

28 Days LOL-ter - Day 8: The Return

Did you know that I was taking the weekend off? Yeah, neither did I. Lame. I blame my sick child, because I'm just that kind of an asshole.

Anyway, that means I've got four - count 'em, four - LOLs to make up to get back on track with this ridiculous gimmick. How will he do it? you' may be wondering. Oh, my sweet, wayward, utterly disloyal children. Doubt not, for my will is strong.

And my backlog of crappy LOLs is long.

But let's start off with new material, shall we?

28 Days LOL-ter - Day 5: Wrapped up like a douche

In honor of the recently concluded teabagging tea party convention...

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Dopey and Crazy, two of the leading cheerleaders for the angry, selfish, horribly deluded teabaggers. God bless 'em, because I sure as hell ain't going to.

28 Days LOL-ter - Day 6: It's your loveable furry old pal

Latest Republican  healthcare reform proposal
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Aw, who the hell am I kidding? Like they've come up with anything half as good.

28 Days LOL-ter - Day 7: I swear, this is not racist

big pimpin  ur doin it white
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And it's not racist because I say it's not, and that's all that matters for the internets.

28 Days LOL-ter - Day 8: For The Wife

Curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal!

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And that should be enough LOLage for one evening. Please bus your tables.

Friday, February 05, 2010

Friday Random Ten: Way To Go, Genius!

Wow, haven't done one of these for a while.

I'm home today - G., my 3-year-old girl, has a nasty cold and had an absolutely shitty night's sleep, as the bags under my eyes can attest - so I thought to myself... well, here's a little transcript:

JP: Hey, self, what's shakin'?

Self: Not much. Do people really still say that?

JP: Say what?

Self: "What's shakin'?" It's got a disturbing retro vibe, and not in a good way.

JP: I'm a trend-setter. We're often misunderstood whilst performing the setting of trends.

Self: Uh-huh. (Pause) So, um, you wanted to, uh, talk, or something?

JP: Oh, yeah! I just had this great thought! Why don't we -

Self: - use iTunes Genius for the FRT on the blog today?

JP: Yeah! How'd you know?

Self: Dude. I'm you.

JP: Weird. (beat) You're not going to go all Tyler Durden on me, are you?

Self: Aaaand, we're done.


Yes, I have a rich and fulfilling life, full of meaning and import. This above is not evidence of that, mind you - I just thought you should know.

And now, the (Genius) list:

Based on: "Hangover Cure for Humanity" by Spouse

1. "The Kids Don't Stand A Chance" - Vampire Weekend
2. "Time Won't Let Me Go" - The Bravery
3. "Weird Fishes/Arpeggi" - Radiohead
4. "You Only Live Once" - The Strokes
5. "Shiver (Live)" - Coldplay
6. "Girlfriend" - Phoenix
7. "The Heinrich Maneuver" - Interpol
8. "Trust Me" - The Fray
9. "Cape Cod Kwassa Kwassa" - Vampire Weekend
10. "High and Dry" - Radiohead

And the bonus: "Crooked Teeth" - Death Cab For Cutie

Whoa. You can really see The Wife's musical influences here. Interpol? I didn't even know we owned any Interpol. And Vampire Weekend - I like them well enough, but I would never ever in a million years pick them up on my own. Same with Phoenix, methinks. Still, a decent list. Only one I might question is the inclusion of The Fray, but other than, good on you, Genius!

Now, how about some video?


Death Cab:

Now! Feast! And be merry! Or whatever else it is you do on a Friday - I'm a bit out of touch.

Thursday, February 04, 2010

28 Days LOL-ter: Day 4 - Jason Voorhees it is, then

Because I'm tired, and Fringe wasn't as good as I was expecting it to be.

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Good night! Tip your waitstaff!

Wednesday, February 03, 2010

28 Days LOL-ter: Day 3 - Chinese Democracy

Chinese Democracy  Original Planning Session
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Man, who could have predicted that, twenty-some-odd years later, fucking Slash would be the one to emerge from this group with his career (and liver, for all we know) intact?

(For you damn kids who maybe weren't yet a twinkle in your fathers' loins, that's Guns 'N' Roses, and for a time they were the biggest motherfucking band on earth. No, seriously. And many, many people - myself included, I am ashamed to admit - wanted to be just like them. Yeah, I don't really have an explanation for it: this is the decade that foisted both Warrant and Spandau Ballet on us, after all. If that don't get you scratching your head...)

This one, for the record, was the first captioned pic of mine that got any kind of notice over at the Cheezburger Network. I actually did it before Chinese Democracy was finally released in 2008 (after, what, twelve or thirteen years of Axl working on it?), so it was current and pithy at the time. Now... maybe not so much.

Eh, what can I say? I like it. Oh, and I'm lazy, let's not forget that.

Coming tomorrow: either something brand spanking new, or Jason Voorhees. Which will it be? Come back tomorrow to find out!

All two of you.

Tuesday, February 02, 2010

28 Days LOL-ter: Day 2

The dumb gimmick continues, with the marriage of a recent pop-culture meme... and English choadery!


Notes from Limboland's 28 Days LOL-ter: Day 2: Lookin like a fool

Pick up your pants, boy! And comb your fucking hair once in a while. Douche.

I don't get the appeal of Pattinson. I just don't. Look at any picture of that fey English wanker, with his teased up hair and doped-out glazed eyes, and tell me that's not 21st-century update of the hair metal look. Only he really feels your pain.

Gah. You kids get off my lawn.

Coming tomorrow: Sino-democractic institutions, circa 1987.

Monday, February 01, 2010

28 Days LOL-ter: A Horrible Name for a Lame-Ass Gimmick

Has it really been ten months since I could be bothered to post? It seems much, much longer.

Anyway, I'm trying to get my lazy ass to do more blogging - not because I really have all that much that's interesting to say, mind you; it's more of a "stop watching so much damned TV and write, idiot!" kind of thing, really - but, just like real writing, this blogging shit takes practice. It's kind of work-ish, which, seeing as I have a day job and all, isn't as appealing as it sounds. So, in an effort to fool my stupid brain, I'm going to ease my way back into this blogging thing with a dumb gimmick.

And it is thus: 28 Days LOL-ter.

For the month of February, 2010, I shall be posting a new (to you, at least) LOL pic, created by yours truly, and brought to by the fine folks at The Cheezburger Network.

Oh, yes. 28 days of LOLs. Created by me. I even made a label for it on the blog and everything - that's just how dead fucking serious I am about silly pictures with inane captions.

Let the internets quake with anticipation. Or revulsion. I'm not particular.

So, without further ado - LOL!

(This is an old one - might be a little more than a year old. It never got a lot of looks over at Pundit Kitchen, which is a shame, because this is one of my favorites. Heathens.)

Day 1 - [brushes hands] - in the books.

Hopefully, this dumb gimmick will trick my stupid brain into thinking of this blogging stuff as more hobby than work, and I'll do more stuff than just this dumb gimmick. I'm pretty sure I'll at least get back into the Friday Random Ten, which is mindless fun. Who knows? Maybe other, more substantial stuff, as well.

Wouldn't that be swell?