Tuesday, November 11, 2008

The stupid. It burns.

I'm a regular reader of Peter King's Monday Morning Quarterback over on SI.com, have been for a while now. Don't know why, really: his writing and opinions tend toward the facile, there's a tendency on King's part to name-drop till the cows come home (a habit that plagues most sports columnists and commentators), and I don't think I've ever come away from reading one of his columns with significantly more NFL insight than I did going in. For whatever reason, I always read it (both the big column, which appears on Monday mornings, and the so-called "MMQB Tuesday Edition", which is smaller and more of a mailbag, in which King responds to selected reader correspondence and clarifies points made in the big column), and always kinda enjoy it.

Here's the thing: King uses his column as a bit of a personal soapbox, often injecting non-NFL related topics into the big column, be they family matters (like the ongoing saga of his daughter's high school softball team from a few years back) or the news of the day. Earlier in the season, King made the mistake of writing about the election, and started taking all kinds of heat from his readership for it. What he was writing wasn't in any way controversial or inflammatory, but you could pretty much tell King favored Obama for the presidency. I'm assuming that the two are more than a little related.

Well, King swore off politics in the column for the rest of the election cycle, and he was true to his word. I didn't miss it - like I said, he's not a scintillating commentator, on anything really - but I wouldn't have minded if he'd ignored his readers' protests and kept talking about the election. I mean, Jesus: it's not like it was historical or anything.

So, flash-forward to yesterday, when he devotes the second page of his online column to talking about Obama's historic victory on 04 November, and the reaction from various players throughout the NFL to the election results. Seems pretty kosher, no? Here's this transformational, generational event in American life - the first time a black man has been elected President of the United States - and King talks about the reaction of various NFL players to said event. This is not controversial, at all. Hey, it's actually kind of like news!

But this, apparently, was all the evidence that some of King's readers needed to prove, once and for all, King's libtard tendencies. This email, in particular - reprinted in King's Tuesday column - made me facepalm:

"This is the last time I ever read your column, Peter. I got so sick of reading Michael Silver's liberal opinions that I stopped reading him. You have finally pushed me too far. Electing a black man president is a good thing. Electing Barack Obama president, a closet socialist with questionable ties to terrorists, felons, and racists, well, it's just a sad day for our country. I am permanently through with your column and watching any TV show you are on. Goodbye, Comrade."

For people like this asshat, the term "douche" is simply a waste. "Senator, I served with douche: I knew douche; douche was a friend of mine; Senator, you're no douche." Etc.

I don't feel sorry for King - at least, not for having too-stupid-for-douche-tag readers. I do pity him, having to wade through intellectual atrocities like the email quoted above - read enough of that shit, and your eyes are gonna bleed, no question about it.

Almost makes me happy that my readership is, like, nil.

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