Friday Random Ten: 25 Random Things - "City of Delusion" edition

Following on a meme that's been there and back again, saw the movie and hated the ending but then saw the movie again... I give unto you the not-annoying-at-all-not-in-the-slightest "Friday 25 Random Things About Me" list! (Clicken the linken for what the hell it all means)

Yes! List!

1. What do your friends say about you?

"No. 13 Baby" - Pixies

2. How would your coworkers describe you?

"Ribcage" - Elbow

3. How would you describe yourself?

"Cannonball" - Damien Rice

4. What do you like in a romantic partner?

"Too Long Awake" - Idlewild

5. How do you feel today?

"We Never Change" - Coldplay

6. What is your life's purpose?

"Cath..." - Death Cab for Cutie

7. What is your motto?

"Reunion" - Hans Zimmer & Lisa Gerrard (Gladiator soundtrack)

8. What do you think about the most?

"Isobel" - Bjork

9. What are you going to do on your next vacation?

"One Week" - Barenaked Ladies

10. What do you think of your first love/date?

"An Echo, A Stain" - Bjork (zing!)

11. What is your life story?

"Getchoo" - Weezer

12. What did you do yesterday?

"Dead Wrong" - The Fray

13. What do you think of when you see the person you like/love?

"Brian Wilson" - Barenaked Ladies

14. What describes your wedding?

"Goodbye, Baby" - Richard Gibbs (Battlestar Galactica miniseries soundtrack)

15. What will they play at your funeral?

"I Just Don't Think I'll Ever Get Over You" - Colin Hay

16. What is your obsession?

"Sentimental Guy" - Ben Folds

17. What is your biggest fear?

"Midnight Show" - The Killers

18. What is your biggest secret?

"Fix You" - Coldplay

19. What is your biggest turn-on?

"Pink Triangle" - Weezer (lesbians, FTW!)

20. How do you describe your friends?

"Futures" - Jimmy Eat World

21. What would you do with a million dollars?

"Can't Stop Now" - Keane

22. What is your opinion of sex?

"Amsterdam" - Coldplay

23. What is your biggest regret?

"Wasteland" - Augustana (actually, I think Song of Susannah was the worst of the Dark Tower books - hey, now!)

24. What would you rather be doing right now?

"Bodysnatchers" - Radiohead

25. What will you post this list as?

"City of Delusion" - Muse

Hm. That was amusing, at least. I'm particularly fond of nos. 10, 15 and 19 - ah, iTunes, you really came through for me. 

Now, let's mark the passing of my first internet meme participation with this lovely video of the fine lads of Muse performing "City of Delusion" live. Enjoy.

thppth.

Annoyances in the Workplace: Part X of Eleventy-Billion and Y

Photo courtesy of greengabbro.net

Someone in my office - someone of questionable intelligence and/or sanity - has the ring tone on their cellphone set to that of a duck's quack. I shit you not: it is, literally, the sound of a duck quacking. No music, jingle-jangle or anything else. Simply this:

quack quack quack. quack quack quack.

I just noticed it today, though I think it's been subconsciously plaguing me for a few days. And whoever this person is - if I knew who it was, likely their precious mobile would be sitting at the bottom of the river that runs by my building - gets an absurd amount of phone calls. I've counted eight since I first noticed it, shortly after lunch today.

Fucking quacking as your goddamn ring tone. Seriously.

I need to invest in some good headphones.

Friday Random Ten: It's sooooo easy

which is why these have been the only posts of late. Oh, sure, I've wanted to post about Neal Stephenson's Anathem, which I just finished, and I've got that whole "big announcement about my writing, just wait for the new year" thing which I keep putting off... but those are all, like, hard and stuff. FRTs are like Skittles. And if you don't know what I mean, then I don't know how we ever communicated.

Anyway. Maestro, ze list!

1. "Foundations" - Kate Nash

2. "Gunshy" - Liz Phair

3. "Trouble" - Coldplay

4. "Brian Wilson" - Barenaked Ladies

5. "Stable Song" - Death Cab for Cutie

6. "Late" - Ben Folds

7. "Sunday Best" - Augustana

8. "Jenny Was A Friend Of Mine" - The Killers

9. "Volcano" - Damien Rice

10. "Wisconsin" - Bon Iver

Whoa. That's not a bad list - not a great one, mind, but as I've mentioned before, I've never been cool. And I'm okay with that. (No: really!) Anyway, let's see what's behind the mystery bonus door, shall we?

11. "No Answers" - AeonSpoke

Well, hey now. I daresay this is one of the best FRTs I've ever been a part of. Here, let's make merry with an AeonSpoke video ("Emmanuel" - I couldn't find one for "No Answers"), courtesy of the fine folks over at YouTube.

Happy Friday, folks.

Friday Random Ten: Aaaand, we're back

Oh, my, but it's been a while since last we played the legendary FRT, hasn't it? Let's us rectify the situation, post haste!

1. "No One's Gonna Love You" - Band of Horses

2. "Work" - Jimmy Eat World

3. "Everybody's Changing" - Keane

4. "In The Garage" - Weezer

5. "Pain" - Jimmy Eat World

6. "Sulk" - Radiohead

7. "Parachutes" - Coldplay

8. "Death Of An Interior Decorator" - Death Cab for Cutie

9. "Talking Bird" - Death Cab for Cutie

10. "Welcome Home" - Idlewild

And, as ever, the infamous bonus track that almost always lets me down with its inherent lameosity:

11. "Love Will Come Through" - Travis

Hardly ever disappointed by the blandness of my music collection, am I. Alas, I am not now, nor have I ever been, cool. And I'm okay with that.

Here, let's celebrate feeling good about being lame by watching this video of bland adult alternative pap!

To be fair, this is off the album Twelve Memories (2003), which has a number of ditties highly critical of Bush's America, plus a song titled "Peace the Fuck Out". So it's not totally lame, only partially so.

Huh. Defensive much?

Gobbler's Knob? Really?

Taking a break from self-imposed blog exile (read: been too damn lazy and/or busy IRL to post) to note that Punxsutawney Phil saw his shadow on Gobbler's Knob today.

Put aside the fact that this supposedly means another 6 weeks of an already stupidly-long winter. Punxsutawney Phil resides on Gobbler's Knob? Really? No: really?

I mean... damn, the jokes just write themselves, don't they?

Winner winner chicken dinner

Check it:


Boo. And also: yah.

I did it. I can't believe it, but I did it. I'm done. 50,000+ words in thirty damn days. (Final, official word count, according to the kind NaNoWriMo bots: 51,247)

That's like: whoa. (Sorry, but it really is kind of a "I know kung fu" moment)

So: that's all. I wanted to revel in the glory of winning this damn thing for the first time. I think I'm going to sleep soon - maybe that will stop the incessant bleeding from the eyes.

Stay tuned for an upcoming announcement re: the thing I just got done writing. (Even though I am not quite done with it yet)

Boy, this has been a parenthetical post, hasn't it?

(FYI: Title comes from cbeard, who got it from some other insane dude. Manky bastards, both.)

Friday Random Ten: "It's All I Do" edition

Maybe I should post something other than FRTs?

Nah. This is how I roll.

Teh liste!

1. "Birds" - Kate Nash

2. "The New Year" - Death Cab for Cutie

3. "Shoebox" - Barenaked Ladies

4. "Stable Song" - Death Cab for Cutie

5. "Dead Wrong" - The Fray

6. "Dickhead" - Kate Nash

7. "Progeny" - Hans Zimmer & Lisa Gerrard

8. "Invincible" - Muse

9. "Prison Food" - Ben Folds

10. "Getchoo" - Weezer

Bonus (no whammies no whammies no whammies):

11. "Bled White" - Elliott Smith

Oh, Elliott. Emo with a brain, way before emo was emo. Gone too soon.

Friday Random Ten: "A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds" edition

But this here ain't no foolish consistency, Mr. Emerson. I'm not at all certain that it's a wise consistency, but hey: three weeks in a row is, for me, "consistent-with-a-capital-C-and-a-silent-Q" (because having a silent Q makes a word that much more important, you see).

Anyway, put away your hobgoblins, kids. The list (non-Genius-ified, natch):

1. "No Answers" - Aeon Spoke

2. "Two at a Time" - Guster

3. "Elysium" - Hans Zimmer & Lisa Gerrard (Gladiator soundtrack)

4. "Cigarettes, Wedding Bands" - Band of Horses

5. "Honor Him" - Hans Zimmer & Lisa Gerrard (Gladiator soundtrack)

6. "Smoke" - Ben Folds Five

7. "Thousands Left Behind" - Richard Gibbs (Battlestar Galactica (2003) soundtrack)

8. "As if I Hadn't Slept" - Idlewild

9. "Call and Answer" - Barenaked Ladies

10. "Marry Song" - Band of Horses

And the bonus, FTW (please, please FTW):

11. "Dozen Wicked Words" - Longpigs

Huh. I'm pretty sure that an English band hailed as better than Oasis (and certainly more fucked up than the brothers Gallagher, if that's even possible) doesn't count as full of Win, but ... eh, what the hell. Have some 90s English radio-friendly modern rock.

"She Said" - Long Pigs: (couldn't find a video for "Dozen Wicked Words", the bastards)

Postscript: I have a couple of movie/TV soundtrack albums in my library because I like to listen to them while I write. Movie scores - especially for sci-fi/fantasy films, or anything epic (like Gladiator) - actually make for great writing music. So I've found, anyway. YMMV.

Anyway, that's why they keep showing up. And, no, I don't know why I felt the need to justify their presence. Maybe I'm a little sensitive, all right? Just back off, man. Back. Off.

The stupid. It burns.

I'm a regular reader of Peter King's Monday Morning Quarterback over on SI.com, have been for a while now. Don't know why, really: his writing and opinions tend toward the facile, there's a tendency on King's part to name-drop till the cows come home (a habit that plagues most sports columnists and commentators), and I don't think I've ever come away from reading one of his columns with significantly more NFL insight than I did going in. For whatever reason, I always read it (both the big column, which appears on Monday mornings, and the so-called "MMQB Tuesday Edition", which is smaller and more of a mailbag, in which King responds to selected reader correspondence and clarifies points made in the big column), and always kinda enjoy it.

Here's the thing: King uses his column as a bit of a personal soapbox, often injecting non-NFL related topics into the big column, be they family matters (like the ongoing saga of his daughter's high school softball team from a few years back) or the news of the day. Earlier in the season, King made the mistake of writing about the election, and started taking all kinds of heat from his readership for it. What he was writing wasn't in any way controversial or inflammatory, but you could pretty much tell King favored Obama for the presidency. I'm assuming that the two are more than a little related.

Well, King swore off politics in the column for the rest of the election cycle, and he was true to his word. I didn't miss it - like I said, he's not a scintillating commentator, on anything really - but I wouldn't have minded if he'd ignored his readers' protests and kept talking about the election. I mean, Jesus: it's not like it was historical or anything.

So, flash-forward to yesterday, when he devotes the second page of his online column to talking about Obama's historic victory on 04 November, and the reaction from various players throughout the NFL to the election results. Seems pretty kosher, no? Here's this transformational, generational event in American life - the first time a black man has been elected President of the United States - and King talks about the reaction of various NFL players to said event. This is not controversial, at all. Hey, it's actually kind of like news!

But this, apparently, was all the evidence that some of King's readers needed to prove, once and for all, King's libtard tendencies. This email, in particular - reprinted in King's Tuesday column - made me facepalm:

"This is the last time I ever read your column, Peter. I got so sick of reading Michael Silver's liberal opinions that I stopped reading him. You have finally pushed me too far. Electing a black man president is a good thing. Electing Barack Obama president, a closet socialist with questionable ties to terrorists, felons, and racists, well, it's just a sad day for our country. I am permanently through with your column and watching any TV show you are on. Goodbye, Comrade."

For people like this asshat, the term "douche" is simply a waste. "Senator, I served with douche: I knew douche; douche was a friend of mine; Senator, you're no douche." Etc.

I don't feel sorry for King - at least, not for having too-stupid-for-douche-tag readers. I do pity him, having to wade through intellectual atrocities like the email quoted above - read enough of that shit, and your eyes are gonna bleed, no question about it.

Almost makes me happy that my readership is, like, nil.

Friday Random Ten: a riddle, wrapped in a mystery, inside an enigma

I'm not cool, but I play one on TV.

And with that: musique, s'il vous plait!

1. "Black Swan" - Thom Yorke

2. "Joga" - Bjork

3. "Polaris" - Jimmy Eat World

4. "Swallowed in the Sea" - Coldplay

5. "Talking Bird" - Death Cab for Cutie

6. "Supermassive Black Hole" - Muse

7. "Winding Road" - Bonnie Sommerville (Garden State soundtrack)

8. "Such Great Heights" - Iron & Wine

9. "The Old Apartment" - Barenaked Ladies

10. "Your Eyes Open" - Keane

Bonus!:

11. "Skeleton Song" - Kate Nash

W00t! Kate Nash! Cheeky! More exclamation points, please!

VOTE

Do it.

Do it now.

Do it.

5... 4... 3... 2... 1...

DO IT!

Cake or Death?

moar funny pictures

The lede from the top story on CNN.com, as of 16:19 EST:

Less than 24 hours before the presidential election, Kevin Sheen has yet to decide who will get his vote.

"I'm actually still wrestling with moral issues," says the 29-year-old registered Democrat, who voted for George W. Bush in 2004.

Sheen is one of the 5 percent of American voters who are either undecided or could change their mind before Election Day.

I hate these people. How can you really be undecided at this point, after close to two years of damn near constant campaigning? Of five straight months of Obama v. McCain smackdown coverage all ofer the goddamn place? Of 2+ months of wall-to-wall news coverage since the end of the conventions? 

Jesus H. Christ on a popsicle stick, what more do you people want? Is it that you're simply incapable of committing? What terminal idiocy prevents you from making a decision? Is it like this when you go to Subway? Cold or toasted, man! Cold. Or. Toasted.

*sigh* Hopefully, only one more day of this shit, then we can rest up until the campaign for the 2010 mid-terms begins. In December.

Oh, yeah: Go vote tomorrow. Or you'll be an asshat. And you don't want to be an asshat, do you?

Friday Random Ten - Now With Sparkling Crystals!*

* - Sparkling Crystals not included

In a stunning fit of consistency (two weeks in a row? madness!), I offer unto you this week's FRT:

1. Liz Phair - "Dance of the Seven Veils"

2. Weezer - "My Name is Jonas"

3. Pixies - "Silver"

4. Pixies - "Alex Eifel"

5. Radiohead - "Videotape"

6. Coldplay - "Violet Hill"

7. Liz Phair - "Soap Star Joe"

8. Soul Coughing - "Soft Serve"

9. Elbow - "I've Got Your Number"

10. Bon Iver - "Team"

And the bonus track, FTW:

11. The Shins - "Caring is Creepy"

Ah, slightly better bonus track this week. Still not full of Win, but then, I'm not sure any of the music I listen to would be considered Teh Hawesome by the kids these days. 

Anyway: sparkly: (and multiple colons, too!):

Note: Couldn't find a decent video for "Caring is Creepy", so you'll just have to make do with "New Slang". I think you'll live.

Sweet. Tapdancing. Christ. (Arachnophobe edition)

No, srsly: SWEET. TAPDANCING. CHRIST.

Don't click that link. Really: just don't.

...

You clicked it, didn't you?

Don't say I didn't warn you. And, no, I will not tuck you in OR get you a glass of water. Especially from the kitchen sink! IF I got you water - and that's a big if, Mister Smartpants, since I told you not to click that link, didn't I? - you'd do with bathroom water.

No, they do not taste different! It's the same water!

Sheesh. Kids.

Friday Random Ten: The Return of a Great Idea, Ruthlessly Stolen from Other, Better Bloggers

Oh yeah. I'm all about the pithy titles.

So, Amanda over at Pandagon, who's much cooler than me (a fact which is consistently reflected in the music she listens to), has taken to doing the FRT with the new Genius function in iTunes. I'd do that, but apparently the Genius function only works for the music library on your computer, not on any iPod you might have hooked up to said computer. I'm at work, so I don't put a ton of music on my work box, preferring to listen to music from my iPod through iTunes. So: no Genius for you!

Anyway, my Friday Random Ten:

1. Silversun Pickups -- "Lazy Eye"

2. Muse -- "Assassin"

3. Death Cab for Cutie -- "Passenger Seat"

4. Ben Folds Five -- "Smoke"

5. Nick Drake -- "One of These Things First"

6. Pixies -- "Gouge Away"

7. Jimmy Eat World -- "Work"

8. Bjork -- "All is Full of Love"

9. Coldplay -- "Spies"

10. Weezer -- "Buddy Holly"

And... bonus track FTW!:

11. Elbow -- "Snooks"

Okay, Elbow's not really full of Win, but... look! Shiny!

Never gonna give you up

You know it's a weird day when you realize that you just Rickrolled yourself, in your own head.

Related: Yes, I do think in hyperlinks. Thanks for asking.

Also, from the TMI Department: I secretly kinda liked the Astley, back in the day. But, in my defense, I was 13.

No, you're right. I should have known better, even then.

my blog fail. let me show u it.

According to StatCounter, I've had 44 unique visits to my blog since I started tracking back in March. You know what that means!


moar funny pictures

Not that I'm going to do anything about it. Really, this post was just an excuse to do the LOLcat.

"I want the same milk. What happened to my old milk?"

I know I haven't posted in a long-ass time - no real excuse: just remember that I am a lazy sod - and this isn't to say that I'm going to be back at blogging, all guns blazing, any time soon. But I read this article today in the NYT (h/t: this post at DailyKos) and ... well, I don't know. Something about it set me off.

I mean, come on. It's a fucking milk jug redesign - one that, by all rights, reduces the overall environmental impact of milk delivery and consumption by a substantial margin, plus is economically more efficient than its antecedent. But - but- but - it's new! And different! And I can't figure out how to pour it, because I'm a fucking moron!

The jugs have no real spout, and their unorthodox shape makes consumers feel like novices at the simple task of pouring a glass of milk.

“I hate it,” said Lisa DeHoff, a cafe owner shopping in a Sam’s Club here.

“It spills everywhere,” said Amy Wise, a homemaker.

“It’s very hard for kids to pour,” said Lee Morris, who was shopping for her grandchildren.

Oh noes! Think of teh childrnz!

...

Yeah, I might be overreacting a bit, here.

But, like I said, something about the reactions in this article touched off something in me. For some reason, the reactions and attitudes captured in the article seem like the perfect microcosm of average America's inherent dislike of change, even beneficial change.

The title of the post, drawn directly from the linked NYT article, sums it up nicely, I think:

What happened to my old milk, indeed.

(Quick) Hit me with your rhythm stick

Look! Eighties parenthetical title! W00t!

And now: the Quick Hits.

---

Heard this morning on Marketplace's morning radio report, during a story on the business of selling trinkets and mementos for Chancellor Palpatine's Pope Benedict XVI's visit to Washington, DC:

In reference to the always-funny Pope-on-a-Rope, a woman in the gift shop of the Basilica of the National Shrine of the Immaculate Conception: "I think that's disgusting. Why wash your body with the pope?"

To which I must respond: good gracious, why not?

---

It's official:


Created by OnePlusYou

I may need to lose some weight.

---

The Wife has something awful that she'd like to share with you (pay attention to the last paragraph). Because that's what the Internet is for, right?

But, really, dear: it'll be okay. Don't hang up your Chucks yet.

---

It's a week late and a benjamin short (ooh, clever! look, I'm teh r0x0rz!), but I finally figured out what began to bug me about Scalzi's last Big Idea entry (mentioned in my previous post). And it is thus:

John knowingly fed the troll.

Day is not a troll in the usual sense - or perhaps it's more accurate to say that he's an higher order of troll. Whatever, he gets his kicks and makes his monies by being a deliberate douche, and that's clear trollish behavior. I don't even care if Day really believes in his own claptrap or not - devotion to ideas or ideals doesn't make you any less of a douche.

It's been written to death by this point, but I'll say it again: it's John's blog, he can do whatever the fuck he wants with it, but... huh? I'm not bewildered by the post, but by the motivations for it, I guess. Someone as Intarweeb-savvy as Scalzi knows exactly what he's doing, so I'm left scratching my head as to why he decided to feed the troll.

Makes me wonder if we didn't all just catch John on a really bad day or something.

(h/t to this post by ertchin, which helped clarify my thinking)

You've just shit on your brain

Scalzi's opened up a can of worms over at the Whatever by featuring the author Vox Day (a pseudonym) in his ongoing Big Idea series. Day's latest offering, The Irrational Atheists, aims to take down the leading modern day thinkers of the atheist community by taking them on at their own game: namely, by using reason and the scientific method to refute their arguments against the existence of God. I haven't read the book, and I'm not planning to - Day freely admits to ad hominem attacks throughout this book, and I'm just not going to bother with that kind of nonsense when discussions surrounding the nature and existence of God are already rife with that spectacular brand of bullshit - but the comments thread at the Whatever for the Big Idea post featuring TIA (as the author acronyms it) has been a rollicking good read.

It's obviously gotten a bit testy, but for the most part the conversation has been spirited but civil. However, one of the most recent posters - pretty obviously an atheist - wrote one of the single-best put-downs of a belief in God I've ever read. (Full disclosure: I'm agnostic, leaning atheist):

The bottom line is that when you accept nonsense, and cherish it in your heart and make it an importat part of how you think and lead your life, you’ve just shit on your brain.

Now, that ain't nice... but it sure did make me giggle.